Love-cass-ly

She wanted to be lovely, so she thought she might stop. She thought it was lovely, just not to be touched. Not all there, she'd swear she didn't exist, just sat there on the cupboard, switching around your products and bits. Until she' goes again- down that road, where she swears she won't be missed. 'Cos people can only care for so long when you're like this, and they know she'll come back 'round, back to him. And she knows he won't always be blinded, but it's a shame when he is, 'cos she is lovely through all of this..

We drink to die, we drink tonight.

The world may be changing, but so is my skin- a luster here or there, blister thin, and I'm wondering, what can really become of all this? If we give the mind of a thick headed beast say, then who really knows why we walk this way- left, right, left, right, left-out, right- but things seem easier when you are a little wrong. 'Cause if it's the pressure that moves you, and allows you to sink, you'll fall to desperate measures as the hearts of the innocent weep. Always more to have, more to keep, while nothing keeps us satisfied, until we can stand on some else's feet. We all want eternal life, but this life was never ours to keep. Constantly improving ourselves while we untangle the world, for nothing but a fancy seat.
So tell me why this just ain't right to me?

Why don't you save yourself?

It doesn't take long to set in, the smell of smoke. In truth, you see, we've been burning down this place for years- just to build it again. Walls rusted, and the floor boards coming up. You'd think at some point, we would have said enough, but, we didn't and we won't. We just carry on regardless, living each day waiting for the next escape, only to turn it down. 'Cause we've come so far, from what this place used to be. Walls painted with blood, floors stained with sweat, and for as long as I've been here, it's still not home to me ..

Outside my window..

Intoxicated from the marks natures warmth left on your skin, I'm wasted on time I'd only want to waste with you. My head spins, and your eyes scream for my feet to stay put, to stay locked in yours. Unconscious, I fall back in, head underwater, and I never thought I'd be here again. Yet this time, 12:36, it's not the same- I'm not drowning for false idols, but a heart of gold, and the occasional hair stuck to my tongue..

Barf bag melt down..

You'd think I live for this tragedy. Stuck in this mess of a world inside my head, I've drove myself crazy slipping away from everyone I love. It's never enough until I've lost my head, and we both know how far that'll get. Selfishly-selfless- I've lost the plot again. And it's not okay, until you say it is.. I'm not alive, until you say I am.

My love, you're a ghost..

Inside my head I'm glued to the seat, and I'm watching, waiting, staring at my dirty feet. I thought I felt your body, but you're just looking at me. My ghost has been here all along, it spills over you as you creep. And you'll find your hearts gone missing, as I'm miles away, wrapped in nothing but your sheets. A fool to think you'll keep me forever. But, for now, it's where I want to be- where I sit and fill my head with dreams of the goosebumps your body used to keep. It will never be enough to keep us sane, and you'll never really sleep..

Boggle, anyone?

And I wonder what it feels like to hit rock bottom, like you- you know, to really stoop that low. The whole world is your oyster, and you've never had a bigger craving for sea food. Munching, and shitting, and biting anything that comes your way. Tossing the shells to the side, in case you need something to lean on when you're desperately obnoxious life comes to a sudden halt. I would shower you in pity, if there was no fear of popping the constantly growing ego placed directly between your ever so vivid shoulder blades. Carry on as you will, just don't forget.. you'll always be the most pathetic person in the room. xo.

Love much thicker than freezing veins

Leave the basement life..

I want to remember these nights forever, as if nothing else exists. Your gentle words, my irrational fits. We would walk forever, because wherever is home when you're like this. A bed made of leaves, a heater made of twigs. Yet- when we are here we can not question how to live. And I'll keep you beside, as the fire strains my eyes, and I only want to see smoke. And you'll light a spliff, 'cause God knows we need to forget what goes on outside these wooden walls..

You're supposed to have living proof..

Yap, yap, yap- sometimes I wish you wouldn't. 'Cos your mouth is moving, while I'm dreaming of zee's and zed's, and all you haven't said. I'd throw myself to the sea to see you with an incomplete thought, to see your mouth at a full stop. But, your breath carries on accompanied by some old bullshit, something I'll never be bothered about repeating.

Kissin' birds with paper cuts..

Start talkin' to myself, 'cos you aren't 'round, and I'm talkin' to the moon, 'cos sometimes you just need sound. I ain't never been in love, but I sure am waitin'. Set my house on fire, 'cos I'd rather sit with you in the rain..

For you, I could never

You've been haunting me for years. Oh, get out of my skin. These chills have found a new home on my spine, playing games, running through my every vien. You were driving me mad, as I drove myself crazy for the taste of someone elses touch. I've got my fingers twisted, hoping one day you'll regret. But, let's face it, the weak never change.




-February 11th, 2009.

Baby britain

I had had it all figured out, the perfect escape. Sneak past mom while she's attending to the washing, dip through the gate, fast fast quick quick. Then down the cobble stonehill with Adi-din to the shops, and all on my new bike. Finally one of them ones without the two wheels attached at the back. Dad says it's proper grown up. Adi-din hasn't got his yet. Adi-din, my mate next door. Real name Adrian. Good chap. We pass our cars through the fence on days where we are lookin' for a trade..


-July 9th, 2008.

The bum bum.

Sittin' across from me, a man with a beard down to his chest, dirty bugs crawlin' all 'round him, fat as a fart, a homeless father christmas to those without eyes. But, it's more than the exterior, he's got more than his stench and his moth bitten clothes. I saw him last week, and he was cleaner than snow. A hair cut, change in wardrobe, now a man with character, a family, and hopes. Funny how things change with your eyes closed.



-July 9th, 2008.

Some sort of vegan bullshit..

We've been sitting in garbage. Trash piled up to our knees. We've done this delicately. Each piece gently placed in it's right position. We thought we were winning, conquering this world, one idea at a time. But, lately things have been changing. There's been a shift in ideas. A colony we once claimed as ours is coming back to fight. Giants, 1000 meters tall, armed with guns. Spies come from every corner, switching back and forth, with a whipping push. Soldiers climb from under ground, and trip up your feet. The great navy come at you, drowning your homes. We won't win this war. Not this time. Our flags will be lifted, and everything we created will be vanished. Nature wins this war. Nature wins all.



-September 28th, 2008.

Sights on a bus.

I couldn't help but feel as though I was in my own world as I sat there, complete with a blank stare and tightened mouth. I didn't understand the words he was screaming. But, the more they came out, the more they turned into mush. In my mind they were just jumbled up letters. And as he went further and further with his manipulating statement, the mixed letters from his own mouth flowed into not my ears, but my mouth, and the louder he got, the more I choked. He was an octopus strangling my neck, and I was just too indifferent to move.




-September 3rd, 2008.

Losin' sleep over nothin'.

We've all got heads on our shoulders. Yeah, we've all got a chance to do it right. But, we're all so busy drinking .. yeah-- we've gotten so twisted tonight. So now that you're all backwards, and I see the world sideways, how will we ever find a solution? And just when we begin to think all hope is lost, the one who makes all the decisions, he's got a clue. That man, that one in the black suit.- yeah he has all the answers. Wake-up! We find ourselves in a line marching down the streets, each with our twisted heads, and our frontward facing feet. We march up and down, around and around, we do as they tell us, and we get along great. Until someone gets a memory- a flash, of things when we had it straight, when our heads were on just like our feet, when we had our own opinions, our own ghosts to beat. But, now, now it's too late- they've got other places for us to be, other problems to solve. They've got us upside down, and we're nothing more then the feet marching on his street.



-July 4th, 2007.

Goodnight morning.

Up and down, and down they fall-- the restless cells belonging to the skin on my hands are taking a leave of absence and slowly melting onto yours, leaving me with the feeling of being intertwined. I've been watching as the thoughts are floatin' from your head. They twist and turn with mine- filling our mouths with invitations to stay the night. They go this way and that, crossing each others paths here and there, as if we really are alive. Oh, I've been dying to taste your morning breath, to see you without sight..



July 22nd, 2007.

Hide and regret.

Discovering discoveries amongst the greatest of places. After searching and searching, I've finally come to an end. This path leads me nowhere, these trees, and shrubs, they just never end-- they are nothing but a constant reminder of what with you, I will never accomplish. Like an endless maze, I've done my time, I've surely paid for my crime, so is it enough yet? Or must I continue to die for you? I've brought you gold, I've brought you diamonds, I've brought you the rarest of flowers. But yet I've never felt a less ungrateful kiss, I've never tasted a more sour tongue, I've never touched sharper teeth. So will this be the last time you cut my tongue? Watch the eternal river inside of me, flow out, as you wash your feet in it's rapids, and I can't find the words to say. In a few short hours, this will be nothing but a memory. Oh, please let this be nothing more then a memory. I'm losing you just like I lost you, and I can't bothered to look for another second. Not under the bed, not behind that dusty shelf full of books. No, no, no...





-June 11th, 2007.

Cough, cough.

Stumbling for the right words to say, as the letters trickle down your chin. ,How you wish for once, just this once they would come out in the right order-- they would make some god damn sense. But once again, you find yourself at a loss, a face with nothing but a blank stare. You sit and wait as the only letters you need to get out have all found a place to stay at the tip of your tongue. Just as you find yourself choking on the words you can't speak. You long to get them out, but they stick--and you sit there drowning in the letters you desperately need.




June 12th, 2007.