A-buhhhh.

See, the thing about falling in love platonically is that when you move on something inside you becomes frail. It seems I've been stirring for years, and each time I become exhilarated by someone's persona my heart aches from the absence of another. I want to become so much more than this, but it's the remoteness inside me that seizes to resist. You know, it's not that I need your every moment or your constant devotion, in the slightest bit, but sometimes I just inspire to be missed..

All that you love, you lose...

Chaos leaves me with goose bumps, as the arms of apprehension remain wrapped around my throat. Since I can’t distinguish myself in distant eyes, I fear I’ll continuously fall into this obscurity without being able to heave myself out. You see, my arms are so frail, and my heart is no more than a dead-beat waiting to stop. My compassion is exhaustion waiting to halt…

It appears you're spun as well

We use to think we had finger tips, but lately we only see ourselves tippin' with our wallets on those drunken nights out- when our arms attach at the bottom, and our feet double in amount. This way, that way, we'll fall to the floor, but it doesn't make a difference. Others around us, they are, they are too indulged, indulged in the sound waves that float across the ceiling, indulged in the tongues, that never stop moving. So I'll stay on the floor, and watch the world spin until my skin melts again..

Bein' on your own can be quite romantic.

If I could land on my feet, you know, I'd be walkin' on the ceiling. Arms, legs, and limbs all flailin'. Hair stands on end, grippin' to it's roots as my face turns red and my feet turn blue. I'm walking with the spiders, I'm becoming glued, yet sometimes I still think this web isn't large enough for you...

9 out of 10 people need to drink coffee

I am a collection of souls, nothing but mere qualities stolen from the very finest. I am he and she, and she and he. I have risen with the highest, and scavenged at your heartless depths. I follow your very footsteps until I can spot a nicer pair of shoes. I am all that surrounds me, yet lately I’ve never felt less amused.

And you can kill us, or let us fucking swim.

All of this and your boney knees, your tired eyes, and their lids that droop over me. Eyelashes kiss my cheeks, and a thousand ghost protect me. There is no where else I'd rather be as my lungs get weak, and you constantly beg me to continue to speak. Silence won't let go and I'm still trying not to breathe you in- not to loose you in my throat, or the insides to where it leads. And truth be told, you'll never know how bad I always want your lovely eyes on me..

Love-cass-ly

She wanted to be lovely, so she thought she might stop. She thought it was lovely, just not to be touched. Not all there, she'd swear she didn't exist, just sat there on the cupboard, switching around your products and bits. Until she' goes again- down that road, where she swears she won't be missed. 'Cos people can only care for so long when you're like this, and they know she'll come back 'round, back to him. And she knows he won't always be blinded, but it's a shame when he is, 'cos she is lovely through all of this..

We drink to die, we drink tonight.

The world may be changing, but so is my skin- a luster here or there, blister thin, and I'm wondering, what can really become of all this? If we give the mind of a thick headed beast say, then who really knows why we walk this way- left, right, left, right, left-out, right- but things seem easier when you are a little wrong. 'Cause if it's the pressure that moves you, and allows you to sink, you'll fall to desperate measures as the hearts of the innocent weep. Always more to have, more to keep, while nothing keeps us satisfied, until we can stand on some else's feet. We all want eternal life, but this life was never ours to keep. Constantly improving ourselves while we untangle the world, for nothing but a fancy seat.
So tell me why this just ain't right to me?

Why don't you save yourself?

It doesn't take long to set in, the smell of smoke. In truth, you see, we've been burning down this place for years- just to build it again. Walls rusted, and the floor boards coming up. You'd think at some point, we would have said enough, but, we didn't and we won't. We just carry on regardless, living each day waiting for the next escape, only to turn it down. 'Cause we've come so far, from what this place used to be. Walls painted with blood, floors stained with sweat, and for as long as I've been here, it's still not home to me ..

Outside my window..

Intoxicated from the marks natures warmth left on your skin, I'm wasted on time I'd only want to waste with you. My head spins, and your eyes scream for my feet to stay put, to stay locked in yours. Unconscious, I fall back in, head underwater, and I never thought I'd be here again. Yet this time, 12:36, it's not the same- I'm not drowning for false idols, but a heart of gold, and the occasional hair stuck to my tongue..

Barf bag melt down..

You'd think I live for this tragedy. Stuck in this mess of a world inside my head, I've drove myself crazy slipping away from everyone I love. It's never enough until I've lost my head, and we both know how far that'll get. Selfishly-selfless- I've lost the plot again. And it's not okay, until you say it is.. I'm not alive, until you say I am.

My love, you're a ghost..

Inside my head I'm glued to the seat, and I'm watching, waiting, staring at my dirty feet. I thought I felt your body, but you're just looking at me. My ghost has been here all along, it spills over you as you creep. And you'll find your hearts gone missing, as I'm miles away, wrapped in nothing but your sheets. A fool to think you'll keep me forever. But, for now, it's where I want to be- where I sit and fill my head with dreams of the goosebumps your body used to keep. It will never be enough to keep us sane, and you'll never really sleep..

Boggle, anyone?

And I wonder what it feels like to hit rock bottom, like you- you know, to really stoop that low. The whole world is your oyster, and you've never had a bigger craving for sea food. Munching, and shitting, and biting anything that comes your way. Tossing the shells to the side, in case you need something to lean on when you're desperately obnoxious life comes to a sudden halt. I would shower you in pity, if there was no fear of popping the constantly growing ego placed directly between your ever so vivid shoulder blades. Carry on as you will, just don't forget.. you'll always be the most pathetic person in the room. xo.

Love much thicker than freezing veins

Leave the basement life..

I want to remember these nights forever, as if nothing else exists. Your gentle words, my irrational fits. We would walk forever, because wherever is home when you're like this. A bed made of leaves, a heater made of twigs. Yet- when we are here we can not question how to live. And I'll keep you beside, as the fire strains my eyes, and I only want to see smoke. And you'll light a spliff, 'cause God knows we need to forget what goes on outside these wooden walls..

You're supposed to have living proof..

Yap, yap, yap- sometimes I wish you wouldn't. 'Cos your mouth is moving, while I'm dreaming of zee's and zed's, and all you haven't said. I'd throw myself to the sea to see you with an incomplete thought, to see your mouth at a full stop. But, your breath carries on accompanied by some old bullshit, something I'll never be bothered about repeating.

Kissin' birds with paper cuts..

Start talkin' to myself, 'cos you aren't 'round, and I'm talkin' to the moon, 'cos sometimes you just need sound. I ain't never been in love, but I sure am waitin'. Set my house on fire, 'cos I'd rather sit with you in the rain..

For you, I could never

You've been haunting me for years. Oh, get out of my skin. These chills have found a new home on my spine, playing games, running through my every vien. You were driving me mad, as I drove myself crazy for the taste of someone elses touch. I've got my fingers twisted, hoping one day you'll regret. But, let's face it, the weak never change.




-February 11th, 2009.

Baby britain

I had had it all figured out, the perfect escape. Sneak past mom while she's attending to the washing, dip through the gate, fast fast quick quick. Then down the cobble stonehill with Adi-din to the shops, and all on my new bike. Finally one of them ones without the two wheels attached at the back. Dad says it's proper grown up. Adi-din hasn't got his yet. Adi-din, my mate next door. Real name Adrian. Good chap. We pass our cars through the fence on days where we are lookin' for a trade..


-July 9th, 2008.

The bum bum.

Sittin' across from me, a man with a beard down to his chest, dirty bugs crawlin' all 'round him, fat as a fart, a homeless father christmas to those without eyes. But, it's more than the exterior, he's got more than his stench and his moth bitten clothes. I saw him last week, and he was cleaner than snow. A hair cut, change in wardrobe, now a man with character, a family, and hopes. Funny how things change with your eyes closed.



-July 9th, 2008.